brisk chill.

september is a month of transition.

it seems like autumn always arrives suddenly . . . sneaks up on me without my consent. and whereas every other person i know seems to be obsessed with falling leaves in various shades of orange, pumpkin spice lattes and thick sweaters, i am a bit more reluctant to rejoice.

084

i love change.

always have.

rather than stubbornly resist new events or balk at introductions to new places or people, i embrace it wholeheartedly. i change my clothes, my hair, my attitude. i love to change. it’s routine that makes me uncomfortable.

which is why my resistance to the change of seasons, summer to fall, is so puzzling. i certainly don’t feel this about any other seasonal change.

so, why don’t i love fall?

i guess i just love summer.

perhaps that’s it. perhaps i grieve the loss of warm evenings, cloudless blue skies, and the fantastic deepening of my skin tone that comes from sunshine.

after all, it does seem as though people are happier when it’s sunny. the smiles come out more, and cheerful dispositions absorb every ounce of vitamin D available. everybody looks more relaxed and attractive. there’s more outdoor adventures and gatherings of people and opportunities to fall head over heels in love. less rational thought and frantic coordination of schedules. more freedom to follow your heart and be ridiculously impulsive.

i like driving with my windows down, unafraid of my wild hair being snarled by the whipping of the wind.

the great pacific northwest lends itself to tragically short summers, punctuated by occasional bursts of rain. but they’re stunning. and i have spent the most magical moments of my life under their spell, however brief.

i guess that’s it.

memories.

looking back on my life, it’s quite evident that i favor summertime. my imagination pulsates with vivid memories: wildly unpredictable emotions, uncontrollable laughter, and delicious anticipation all collide under a hot summer sun . . . it’s enough to make me gaze wistfully out the window at the brisk chill of autumn and sigh heavily.

perhaps that’s another piece of it.

it always sneaks up on me. every year.

all of a sudden, i need an extra blanket on my bed at night, whereas i used to keep a fan running in my window. i need a sweater because even though it looks nice and sunny, there’s a brisk chill in the air that wasn’t there just a few days ago.

and i never gave my consent.

i never said, “yes, i’ve had enough. summer has been wonderful, but i think i’m good. go ahead, get cold.”

shouldn’t that be a decision that i’m allowed to be a part of?

i recognize how ridiculous that sounds. but i did get stuck behind three school buses this morning on my commute to work. oh, and the puyallup fair is back in swing, which means that i will see vehicles going the wrong way down one-way streets for the next month.

well.

—–

SO, as i do with every strong emotion-evoking topic, i have created a playlist.

i have titled it Brisk Chill. enjoy one or more of these songs if you are so inclined. i have found that they are excellent for driving, especially if you have the heater on and the windows down.

[it creates a perfect blend of warmth and chill].

1. hurricane ::: MS MR

2. back to you ::: twin forks

3. every minute ::: lovelife

4. why even try (ft. sara quin) ::: theophilus london

5. up we go ::: lights

6. i won’t let you go ::: snow patrol

7.  forever ::: haim

8. another story ::: the head and the heart

9. eternity ::: rachel taylor

10. wake me ::: bleachers

11. eyes to the wind ::: the war on drugs

12. heart out ::: the 1975

i’m going to put on a pair of slippers and drink something with cinnamon in it.

xo

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